I luckily signed up for the Calm app a few years back when they were offering a free lifetime membership for educators. I thought at the time it would be a great resource to add to my Physical Education tool-box. I also thought it would help culminate the class period while allowing students to calm down and quietly reflect on lesson goals. It also put me on good terms with the classroom teachers as they picked up their classes ready to walk back to class under control instead of like loose electrons. Little did I think at the time that a New Year’s Resolution would take me on an almost 2 year journey towards my own personal growth, reflection and inner peace.
Here are the 10 things that I have learned and experienced on my Calm journey.
I will never be fully balanced! That is because there is no such thing as always being in balance. It is impossible. Life is always moving all around me and I will always be balancing. I have learned to accept this as a pillar of my life and I am at complete peace with it. I may be on top of the world at any given movement, and feel that the stars are aligned, however it will eventually spin me off and recalibrate how it wants at any given moment. Literally this is how our planet works as it spins and turns, changing seasons, sunsets and life. To think that I am going to achieve pure balance is literal insanity, but that is the way the human brain thinks. My advice is to focus on getting your life in as much balance as possible and then enjoy the ride for as long as it lasts.
2. What a treat it is to be able to slow down the fast speed of life and to just sit/lay and just breathe. Talk about making YOU time! Self care is so important towards happiness and towards overall health. The world we live in today doesn’t work with the way our brains operate and in a way it’s like giving your brain a sip from the water fountain of clarity. The notion that meditation can potentially slow down cellular aging as researchers have begun to explore gives you even more reason to set aside a few minutes every day. The Center for Healthy Minds at the University Wisconsin-Madison explored this possibility over 18 years and found that a meditation slowed a monk’s brain aging 8 years compared to other control groups. We make time for ourselves for a plethora of other reasons so why not schedule some alone time to just be in the present. The sound of the ocean plays behind every one of my sessions as my breath reassures me that everything is and will be ok no matter what happens. The breath is the first and last thing you will ever have so why not use it to our advantage? How do you feel after just breathing in and out a few times?
3. I find myself dozing off into a light slumber more often than I would like to admit. I guess I get so relaxed and connected that I find myself awaking a little after the session has ended to the sound of nothing or to another background sound other than the waves hitting the sand. I guess it means that I sometimes balance more towards relaxation than towards focus and clarity and that is a-ok. The chain-link connection that my brain and body is making is that when I do meditation I make both happy. Who wants to anger either? Under the surface it also means that I am fully immersing myself into the present moment of the meditation and that is the point. It also helps that it comes with the literal Navy Seal of approval from Jocko Willink since he swears by an 8 minutes shut-eye with legs elevated. NASA also has done research and has found that a 26 minute nap is the ideal time to maximize performance and minimize a zombie-like trance that sleeping too long induces. With that being said, as long as my post-meditation dozing is between the 8 and 26 minute pillars I think a little extra rest will help the world see the better Adam.
“Sleep is that golden chain that ties health and our bodies together.”
-Thomas Dekker
4. I don’t want to let Cal Ripken Jr. down, but I think solely focusing on this streak takes away from the main purpose of why I meditate. I sometimes ask myself if I am meditating because I have truly made it part of my daily routine or am I meditating to keep the streak alive? My competitive nature and my calm nature are in a gentle wrestle and that is just fine. There have been a handful of times that I could have tossed in the towel and just started back at 1, however something drove me to keep it going. I have also gotten to a point where if and when the streak does end, it will all be ok. It’s like the Buddhist monks that take part in rituals of building these beautiful sand mandalas only just to destroy them the moment they are finished to teach the lesson of non-attachment and impermanence of things. Will my streak get to 599?
5. Whether or not I realized it, I have become the example I want my kids to see. They have seen me meditating throughout our home. They have seen me committed to the practice on a plane before I lost wifi. They have heard the voices of my favorite Calm personalities and hopefully the powerful messages. I have become the change I wanted to be and all I had to do was close my eyes and sit in peace for them to see it. Can I do any less and become anymore? They have also been an integral part of my growth during practice whether they knew it or not. I have used their loud voices and rambunctious behavior as obstacles and challenges that I would tune out as I redirected my attention back to my breath. Not an easy task to complete, but I knew it would help with my growth. There was a Calm story about how monks would listen to news while meditating to make the point that there is no perfect time and that life will always be loud, messy and disruptive. The goal is to not let the external noise get into the internal environment. My kids also have learned to respect my boundaries and to let me be while I am engaged and committed to practice. They also know they are free to join in next to me at any time and I love when I feel the energy of one of their tiny bodies as they nestle into their own little space and follow along. Sometimes doing nothing is just as much as doing something and that is one of the most important things I have learned from this experience.
6. My mind wanders a lot. I have thoughts on top of thoughts on top of thoughts. I have learned that I am not my thoughts and instead to look at them from above. Allowing them to flow through me instead of staying stuck allows me to listen to them, accept them, and be the pilot in control of it all. At school, when I teach the parachute to my students, I have learned to build in a minute or two of just controlled chaos once they all are holding on. I say nothing, do nothing and just let the excitement ripple through their little arms into the multi-colored piece of nylon sheet. I have allowed my meditations to flow like that. I let all my thoughts flow for a minute or two and I just let it be. I don’t get angry or immediately try to redirect them to what I want. I share the road with them and in the end we both get to enjoy the ride. I respect them and eventually they respect me by allowing the practice to unfold into what it will. It has taken more time than I would like to admit to learn that, however better late than never. My brain takes a few minutes to decompress and once that happens I am able to ease into my breath work and to connect to myself with more clarity, understanding, and reflection. It all comes back to accepting my reality and to listening to what I need. Knowing thyself is the key to mastering one’s self!
7. I have really stayed committed to the process and because of that the process has become part of my daily routine. Creating positive habits take time and breaking bad ones take even more energy and effort. Slowly and with awareness I have integrated meditation into my life just like I have with so many other things. I have truly gotten the concept that it is a practice because we are always in practice. I haven’t mastered meditating because I have done it for so many days or sessions. I have stayed committed while on boats, planes, and at random hours of each day. I have learned that there doesn’t need to be a one size fits all approach and I have grown as a meditator because I am able to adapt. Adapting has allowed me to evolve and grow into so much more than I thought possible. There is more than one way up the meditation mountain and the key is to just climb and keep moving upward towards finding your own rhythm and tempo. Just like with exercise, you have to bring variety to your workouts or you will burn out and lose your purpose for doing it. If you don’t bend you break kinda mindset is what I have adopted on this journey. There is a lot of self-compassion and acceptance because it all is built on letting go and not clinging onto. Fight to make it a habit and then just let go and somehow it all falls into place naturally.
8. It is a life hack that I wish everyone knew and did. It just is free, doesn’t take much time and it feels good. It takes a little investment and pays out a maximum reward. It’s like your brain is saying that if you slow down and just let me recalibrate a little in this fast-paced and frantic world I will reward you with some well earned dopamine, serotonin, and some bonus GABA. Plus, it will hopefully help give you more patience, understanding, and help you feel more connected to yourself. Why not make your body a really great place to live and feel good? I constantly use the techniques and mindsets that I have learned from the guided meditations when I am anxious, angry, or even bored. I truly look it as playing with house money. You just have to get the motivation and be willing to play. I understand that sitting with your own thoughts can be torture to some. There have even been studies showing that people would rather be electrically shocked than to sit alone with their own thoughts. Relaxation and fostering a better relationship with yourself just might be the solution to it all.
“You have two choices: to control your mind or to let your mind control you.”
— Paulo Coelho.
9. A lot of what I have learned and heard feels like it has been subconsciously absorbed and just flows in my language, beliefs, and daily behaviors. Impermanence is one of the most important underlying messages I have gained from the daily sessions. I use that concept when life gets hard or even as a way to stay modest and appreciative when life is clicking on all cylinders for me. I share the message as a way to help others and I speak it to myself almost daily to help me value and understand how delicate and fragile life really is. Sandcastles glisten in the sun, but they are just one wave away from the end. Life is truly like that and it helps me feel more alive. It also takes the fear out of a lot of things because knowing that it all ends empowers me in a weird kind of way. I have become my meditations and I am thankful that I have filled my mind with positive and meaningful thoughts. Plasma membranes are found in all cells and separates the interior from the outside environment. Meditation has been my way to membrane my mind which has empowered me to protect what gets in or out for that matter.
10. I wish I had it sooner in my life. In the financial world, the best day to invest was yesterday. The same holds true for mindfulness and meditation. That is why I teach it in my classes and why I set the example for my very own children. I have stumbled upon an amazing gift that has the power to literally change the body and mind just like exercise. Imagine what the world would look like if everyone stopped for a few minutes everyday to just breathe and slow down. Can you imagine a world that had built in mindful breaks that allowed people to get their minds to catch up with the warp speed of reality. Slow is smooth and smooth is fast is the exact concept that I think when it comes to mindfulness and awareness.
Did I really write this article or have I been meditating the message the whole time?